Saturday, May 06, 2006

Friday night activities

The reason I started “blogging” was to discuss certain issues with strangers .. or myself, to gather opinions on my views on life maybe a few helpful antics; never the less I have not been very adamant or consistent with my blogs. Some may believe that I haven’t been updating this on a regular basis because I have been preoccupied with work, school or whatever… truth be told I haven’t, I have just been afraid to have others hear my inner thoughts and then read responses to my issues. Here goes …

So I haven’t been able to sleep well lately, tonight in particular here I sit typing on Friday night (or sat. morning) at 3:50 AM, and no I haven’t been out on the town or at some friends house drinking I have been sitting at home cleaning a few things, doing laundry and other mundane activities that do not belong in the schedule of an evening that has the possibilities of being interesting in any way what so ever. The main reason I am awake mind you is that I have been sitting up all night waiting …. You ask for what; to answer this I will have to go on to a new topic... and will.

There is a person in particular that I care for exceptionally, a person that I would do anything for, the kind that makes you comfortable in any situation, that you worry and wonder about when you are not in contact … someone very close or so I have thought.
I cannot say that situations have been smooth sailing all around the trip (I don’t know any good relationship that has been) however, lately I have been feeling extremely alone, alienated from family and friends, not hearing form many of them and when I do it doesn’t seem that there is any genuine concern of well being. So with this I have been hoping to spend some quality time with the person that I care for more than the rest but I always get “I am busy” or “there just isn’t enough time” … hey before you all get on my case I am pretty understanding and there is no doubt that sometimes people get busy and have few too many things on the plate so some items get shifted to the side, and I am not looking for constant attention … a 24 hour guardian; I just want to feel wanted and cared for, loved if you will.

Tonight I got off work and sent a text to this person, not expecting an instant reply I went along with my work, after a short while I received a voicemail form this person indicating that they had recently exited an event with a few co-workers and would be continuing the evening with them and that they would call if feeling up to a drink later. No problem there, in fact the feeling I got was a rush of emotions just hearing their voice on the other end, I loved it; so I went along with whatever I was doing keeping myself occupied. Sometime later in the evening I receive a text explaining how what activities that were being participated in and I replied, indicating that I was happy for them; in all reality I was jealous, not of the enjoyment that they were having, but of the co-workers that were there to take that person away from me … that kinda sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it?? Well that’s what I told myself at the time. The thing that got me most and has kept me up all night is that I never got a call or text … nothing!!! At this point my mind starts wandering, all the possibilities logical or not, worst part is that I start believing in them!

After a lot of restlessness and thought I admit that I may be irrational in thought (although part of me still wonders, I really don’t know). All and all I think if you care for someone enough even on the busiest day you should find a few minutes to let that person know how you are doing and feeling and that you do care … just a few out of 24 hours. I don’t want to hog their time or make them feel trapped by no means but I get genuinely concerned, and want peace of mind so I can sleep at night and function properly.

So I leave it at that, still wondering, concerned and loving

As they say “Time will tell”

Saturday, January 28, 2006

I guess its the language barrier :D

these are some signs and notices from around the world ... enjoy!!

In a Bangkok temple:
"IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER,
IF DRESSED AS A MAN."

Cocktail lounge, Norway:
"LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR."

Doctor's office, Rome:
"SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES."

Dry cleaners, Bangkok:
"DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS."

In a Nairobi restaurant:
"CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER."

On a poster in Kenya:
"ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP."

On an Athi River highway (this is the main road to Mombasa) leaving Nairobi.
"TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE."

In a City restaurant:
"OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS."

A notice seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
"DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS."

In a cemetery:
"PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY
BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES."

A Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
"GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER
DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED."

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
"OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR."

In a Tokyo bar:
"SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS."

Hotel, Yugoslavia:
"THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB
OF THE CHAMBERMAID."

Hotel, Japan:
"YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID."

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel, across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
"YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY."

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
"IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ON UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE."

Hotel, Zurich:
"BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE."

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
"WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?"

On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
"GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE."

In a Swiss mountain inn:
"SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM."

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
"WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS."

A laundry in Rome:
"LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME."

Monday, January 23, 2006

good morning!

well Its a been a while since I have gotten up at 6:30 and stayed up. I know there are people who do this on a daily basis and I respect that. truth be told this isnt that bad and I plan on doing so every day.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

single

So here I am on a sunday evening with nothing to do so I decided to write a blog (finally).

In genral there is not much going on in my life at the moment, unfourtunatly I lost my job and my drivers liscence in the same week (the first week of the year) and added to that my own stupidity and arrogance has led my closest friends away from me. So I sit here at home most of the time untill I have to go to class were I have arranged for someone to pick me up and bring me back home (ofcourse for a fee), or when one of my remaining friends comes to take me to the gym. other than that I havent really been getting out much. Anyhow that is not the topic i wish to discuss.

What I really wanted to post was about bieng single and your outlook on life and other peoples thaughts. So I am single and enjoy going out and doing things with my friends as most people do, slowly most of them got married or were already in a relationship; guess what that makes me? the odd one out. now I dont particulairly enjoy bieng that but its fine no problem right? the only problem I have is that everyone around me who is married wnats me to get married as well???? ok thats a problem people need to lay off. I'm not even dating anyone and you want me to get married? and they always "find" someone for me wtf I wasnt even looking who told you to do so? Its as if these people were lost and finnally they are rescueing me and finding these friends of friends who are recently or for any other reason single, ofcourse I have yet to see one of them that is halfway decent looking and with a good personality and not looking to just get laid or wasted. Yes, indeed somethimes I feel sorry for myself I'll admit it, but if I wanted anyone I would have taken ANYONE!!!

Thankfully they have stopped (ohh wait they just stopped talking to me), anyhow even when I'm wit single friends they always want to "hook" me up; "hook" yourself up first then come and talk to me. what people dont get is that that is not my problem, actully its the opposite (now I'm saying that women are flocking to my doorstep) I'm just saying that I have some sort of natural way about me unfourtunatly its not always a good thing people think I'm hitting on them whene I really have no interest in them at all. So lately I have been coaching my single friends on what to do, say and what not. Believe me this was not a self appointed position, I have been asked many a time to assist in such situations. most of the time I'll br asked "what do you think of her?" well as we all know each person has their own oppinion about the people hey are attracted to. My typical response is "if you like the way she looks then don't bother asking me", probably not the best thing to say becuase then they think that she is not attractive ... hold on here .. my oppinion doesnt have to change yours. I do try to give the best response and look at it from different angles and try to point out the good features but sometimes I just can't.

The worst part out of all this is the one person you are interested in ... you can't have!! aint life a bitch? ofcourse bieng as stubborn as I am, I presisted and forced my way and had it met half way. I recently lost it all due to my idiotic behaviour, so with this new year I turn a new leaf, hopefully I will bring myself to levals that I have never achieved before and humbly go through life and hopefully gain all what I lost and maybe just maybe get the one thing that I lost and means most to me.

wish me luck!!!